Was not myself on my way home from SM north. I was trying to make sense of all the emotional stress… Maybe giving myself a dose of my handy self pity and one quick ‘out of place’ tablet. Then a story was running in my mind about deception and betrayal. I was walking down the long-ass walkway from SM to MRT station when I realized how inspiring my scene was. Already feeling low after a few dosages of my handy emotional medicines, great subtext hits me. I am the only person walking in my direction, and everyone else is walking against mine. At 5′11 I can see tired faces trying to make their way home (ever they have one), hoping to see maybe a wife (who might have just arrived from a good afternoon sex with a long time partner, who, for all you know is her true love), a dog (by far one good source of unconditional love and loyalty), or simply sick and tired of a different day same shit routine. But don’t get me wrong, I’m not in the direction where I’ll say “I was better off after all” in a few more lines. It’s just a simple realization of how futile hard work is when you don’t get what is due. Maybe I’m just bitter because their lives maybe less challenging, but purposeful. Maybe I’m just tired of trying to label everything in my life. If I would be asked to express my life in a sketch, you would see a million emotional “Post Its”.
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